Dear friend who abandoned me,
I know this is very unconventional but let’s turn the table for once. Let me speak this time.
So? How’s everything going? Okay, I can’t do these formalities with you so let’s just come to the point.
I never said this but I loved sleeping under your pillow and also over your chest. I loved your possessiveness towards me. Even though you cried a lot, I loved it that day when you brokeup with that narcissistic ex of yours, and I shouldn’t mention but you also threw me away and then said “nevermind”. Yes, I loved that swag, it suited you.
And I loved that skirt too. The one that you stopped putting up coz someone said it doesn’t go with your complexion. Whatever!
And oh! Have you yet told your sister that you were sorry for smashing her favourite vase after that big cat fight you two had?
Listen, I miss you. I so do. Please resume me. I know once you loved me more than anyone. Not only because I wasn’t one of them who would gosssip behind your back but also because I never judged you.
I remember you once told me that people become stars after they die. Will you once again allow me to watch your mother up there shining the most, all night long with you?
I do know all your high school secrets, may I also know how your day at work goes? May be once in a week?
Its been a bit long but I know we can still get along, without a doubt. Don’t believe me? Let’s go to our favorite spot in the park, just the two of us and then we’ll see. And by “just the two of us” I mean JUST US and not your new friend ~ ‘Playlist’.
I know I shouldn’t say this but I’m jealous of it. Now you never come back running to me whenever something unusual happens. I know why. May be because I can never say a word but your playlist, well it knows all the answers and has all the right songs for all your right moments.
But do you realise I was the one who always listened YOU, YOUR rants, YOUR heartbreaks, YOUR embarrassing stories, I let you let YOUR heart out and not bottle things up like your *new friend* makes you do because hey, it never let’s you say a word and doesn’t shut itself up for a moment.
And oh here’s a fun fact, the stats of a diary being involved in a road accident is very low in comparison to *coughs* playlists.
Okay sorry! No offence please.
oh isn’t it the smily you used to draw!!
~Dairy That You Stopped Updating
Look at yourself. Just have a look.
No, not just the body but the soul, that is so compact yet holds something as infinite as the universe itself.
It has got all the powers.
Your soul isn’t a butterfly inside a hurricane, my love.
It is the butterfly and the hurricane itself.
“Don’t singles feel a void in their life?”
Wait!! Singles don’t actually have any void.
Let’s see this straight..it all eventually leads to that one person that you can always count on for yourself.
That one person who may be not running in your mind all the times, but strikes you within millionth of a second as soon as something unusual happens…and it’s not even over and you just can’t wait a hell second to brust it out to them.
At once you may be shouting loud enough to destroy the planet and they won’t even notice you…… and other times they can even hear what isn’t said.
That’s special you know. That telepathic bond.
They not always need to be your life partners.
Some hevenlly times they just happen to be your crime partners.
We have these creatures,we call them best friend.
When you can’t find a tie from the drawer, you end up finding one person from the crowd of 7 billion who is worth leaving the rest all of them behind.
If this is possible then I believe everything else is.
More than half of the year has been gone like the blink of an eye.
This year had the worst start possible. The “Happy New Year” wishes didn’t seemed to be working this time.
Till now I haven’t even figured out my purpose for this year.
Couldn’t qualify the exam I had been preparing for so long.
Lost a friend that I can never get back.
Even got myself hospitalised all of a sudden and many more depressing part to count.
But here’s the brighter side..
I don’t take anyone’s life for granted anymore.
Got to meet my favourite people after one and a half year straight. Realised their value in my life all over again.
Discovered my ability to write, may be not so well, yet… but yeah.
Some events turned out to be eye opener and I am no more surrounded fakes… Yeah deal with that you jealous people. Bangggggg yesss!!
Met my family after a year only to find out that everything is a bit better, if not the same. The PJs, the Tom & Jerry fights, the absolute Love and above all -they’re all safe and sound. Touch wood.
So here’s what I concluded.
Life’s neither great nor it is even fair.
But it is what it is.
And it is good.
At least in the now.
And I am greatful.
For every person that leaves you, takes away a piece of your heart with them.
And from every person that you leave, you keep a piece of their heart with you.
It is those pieces together that keeps you alive for there ain’t any other way of doing it.
“The more they need help ,
The more they pretend that they don’t need help.”
People are not the hardest goodbyes.
We’re not afraid of loosing them.
What we’re afraid of is
the vaccant space
and their memories
that haunts us
and eats us
once they are gone.
And one day when for some reason you’ll have to cross the streets that we had decided to meet, you’ll find yourself choked by the memories of our’s.
You surely will look around, may be to figure out if I am still there,waiting
Or to pretend that you don’t remember anything
Or to find any pair just like us
Or to make sure that no one is watching you suffocate
Or may be to hide the tide trumbling within your eyes to fall out, but darling you’ll look around.
May be you’d have never missed me till then but my absence is surely going to hit every second of your life after this.
Like something stuck in between your teeth…that won’t hurt you, but it’ll be there making your life so uneasy to live. You’d badly want to remove whatever that is but you just won’t be able to figure out that where this sensation is coming from….it won’t be visible to anybody else but it’ll make you conscious of yourself and your surrounding every now and then…and you may be alone somewhere but you won’t feel comfortable as if someone is staring at you constantly.
And then you are going to have this extra strong urge to scream and to get up and to run the hell out of there without a second thought but you just…. you just won’t be able to do that too, coz you know wherever you’d go, its already going to be there, waiting for you.
And may be after few days, years, decades…or may be, just may be at the very last moment of your life you’ll realise that it was your regret of letting down our beautiful love that followed you all along.
And then, I hope, you’ll be flaunting a teary smile as big as anything in the memory of our good and bad times. 💔